3 strikes you're out of here!!
Updated: Nov 14, 2018
No matter what it is this is my rule in life.
It can be a person, a city, a restaurant, a store, a brand, absolutely anything. If there have been 3 specific incidents that have caused me to give it a strike then that's it.
People- friends, relationships, even sometimes family though I get that is much harder and not always possible. We over tolerate so much sometimes we become blind or compliant to it and it just becomes part of life.Thanks to places like Facebook often times people who would have naturally run their course find a way to stick around.
I've followed the 3 strike rule for decades now and it's done me well because it keeps me honest with myself. I've given places a strike for everything from...A highway that just stopped with no detour for 2 hours (hello Delaware I'm looking at you) to a restaurant that I found a ant in my sandwich. I've found myself in undesirable relationships and though they got bad the 3 strikes rule kept me awake to it and honest with myself. A bad relationship should never get to 3 strikes stop at 1 but if you ever notice you hit 3 or more you need to bounce because now that's a serious habit.
The 3 strikes are for you not them. It's to protect you from going down a rabbit hole you can't get out of. Sometimes it's too hard to see the big picture but the big strikes are a lot harder to forget. When in doubt ask your best friend if there's any major strikes you should look harder at. Best friends are a blessing and a curse on relationships (I'll have a whole 'nother post on that), they don't forget. I'm not talking socks on the floor here issues, that might all accumulate into 1 strike if that's really a thorn in your side. I'm talking about the big stuff, the real stuff.
People, places and things can be magical but they can also destroy your self worth very quickly. Keep the good in your life and filter out the negative. It sucks when you feel low on friends and people around you because they all suck but with time you will grow a healthier support system and start to weed out the bad seeds.
People ask me, can you take away a strike?... that depends on you and what the strike was for. Abuse no, never. Now something that you may feel is slightly petty a few years down the road.... then yes strikes can fade or accumulate into 1 strike. Feelings and perceptions change, the point is to stop tolerating having a person or a place causing undo stress and negativity. For you to recognize when you are over tolerating.
If you're unsure take a cold hard look at the relationship....
Are there more bad days then good?
How do you feel about yourself around them? How do you feel when you're away from them? How do you feel about them when you're in your safe place?
Don't let someone or some place dictate your strikes. This can apply to jobs too, it might be time to look for a better opportunity. Only you truly know what is and is not a strikable offense.
Some of my more random strikes
Delaware ... seriously the highway just closed and didn't open till 2 hours away with no clear detour. The signs just kept taking me to the next part of the closed exit. Maybe petty to some but after a 8 hr drive with a 3 year old when you suddenly add 4 hours to my trip for no reason you get a strike.
Hard rock cafe-
Went on our honeymoon 4 years ago and still talking about the meal that was so bad we turned down a free follow-up meal, they got 2 strikes for that one 1 from each of us.
NYC-.
See this one is just complicated I had 2 pretty crappy trips there and always said if there's a 3rd I'm done so the next time I go it better rock. I guess you could say NYC started my 3 strikes rule. Now I would be inclined to roll the 2 strikes into 1 since it's been a decade but I have yet to have a good experience there so until I do it is going to have to be Schrodinger's cat for me.
It's about the balance for me when the bad out weighs the good it's time to let it go....
